Coping with nerves

Behaviour / 26 September 2011

Nerves can be crippling when you don't know how to handle them

 

No matter how confident or well prepared you first feel, nerves can affect even the most experienced managers – and their effects can be debilitating. Laura Johnson has some top tips on how to tackle that nervous feeling

You’re stepping up to make a presentation when nerves kick in. Suddenly all you can focus on are your sweaty palms and the quivering page of notes you’re struggling to steady. Your speech disintegrates into a stumbling ramble. We’ve all been there.

“Nerves are a signal, often because there’s something important coming up,” says Anni Townend, leadership consultant, coach and author of Assertiveness and Diversity. “Be it an interview for a job we really want, a presentation we’re making to a group of people, a meeting at which we want to make a point or maybe we have strong feelings about something and want them to be known.” Nerves show that we care about something, and in this respect, they are positive.

Different situations can trigger anxiety in people, but the side effects are similar. “We often become aware of our nerves physically – shortness of breath, sweating, stomach churning and knees wobbling are just some common signs of nerves,” Townend says.

We often become aware of our nerves physically – shortness of breath, sweating, stomach churning and knees wobbling are just some common signs of nerves.

Anni Townend, leadership consultant, coach and author

Physical signs can be accompanied by actions that aggravate nerves further. “Often we see avoidance behaviour when people are nervous,” says Andy Syms, managing director of Top Drawer Presentations. Making small talk, getting obsessed with the layout of a document rather than writing it, compulsive fact checking; under the influence of nerves we do anything to delay facing what we’re dreading.

“The second thing you see is hostility,” Syms adds. Nerves feed feelings of self-doubt and one response is defensive behaviour, such as throwing a tantrum or unfairly offloading a responsibility onto an innocent colleague. Work pushes us to our limits, making the office a natural habitat for nerves to wreak havoc with our composure. They affect everybody; the trick is learning to manage them.

Stay self aware
To tackle nerves, first understand what triggers them. “Ask yourself, 'what situations make me nervous'?” says Townend. “What is it about these situations that makes me feel nervous?”

Think positively
Then focus your energy on completing the task rather than what could go wrong. “Usually in a situation in which we have overcome nerves, we think positively,” Townend says. “We think, ‘yes, I can do this’”.

Your brave moment
“Pick a situation when you were brave and notice how you were in your body,” Townend advises.  “What were you doing? How were you expressing yourself physically? Notice how you were feeling.” Then remember and replicate this nerve conquering behaviour when you’re next preparing for a workplace challenge.

Breathe
“Taking a moment to note how you are breathing and taking a deep breath really helps,” Townend says. “It helps us focus on the present, to be in the moment and crucially be more aware of other people and how they are experiencing us.”

Find a mentor
“Watch other people who are relaxed and engaging, who seem to find making presentations easy and expressing themselves at meetings easy,” Townend suggests. “Notice what they do and how people respond to them.”

Practice makes perfect
Rehearsing will reduce nervous behaviour on the day. “A lot of people will say they don’t need to practice,” says Syms. “People say this because they’re nervous about the practice, so to get out of it they’ll say, ‘I’m much more fluid if I do it on the day’”. In reality, fluidity often comes across as waffling.

Be aware of your body language 
Recording yourself practicing a speech will uncover how nervous body language could be detracting from what you’re saying. “Nerves make people forget what they’re doing with their bodies,” says Syms. “Classic body language is people covering their mouths with their hand, rubbing their nose when they’re not sure the facts they’re telling are completely true, rubbing their ears when they’re not comfortable with what they’re saying.”

Ask for a second opinion
Asking for feedback is a good reality check. “Feedback is a great source of external support and can help with nerves,” says Townend. “Not least because we often imagine we’re coming across more nervous than we actually are.”

Stay calm
As a manager not only do you have your own nerves to contend with but those of your team members. “Don’t react to nervous behaviour in a way that’s going to exacerbate the situation and make it worse,” says Syms. “The worst thing you can do is be aggressive, drawing attention to the thing they’re scared about - their weakness.”

Dress to impress
“Some people find it really helpful to have a favourite outfit, tie, pair of boots which they associate with a really positive experience of things going well in a situation similar to the one they are preparing for,” Townend says. So, if all else fails, dig out those lucky pants.

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